Free Falling Read online

  It wasn’t surprising that I didn’t get to play much. More than an hour had passed before I lasted more than a few discards. Everyone was generally gracious with me, but Nicole was being straight up rude, not letting me off in the slightest.

  Wally was to my right, passing me his discards. In my hand, I had three 5’s and a King. I only needed one more and was getting nervous, my leg bouncing under the table. Card after card was passing me, people around the table yelling out or performing their required actions. If I didn’t get a five soon, I’d lose, and I wanted to win at least once. Badly.

  Underneath the table, I felt Wally dig his leg into mine. Slowly, he put down a card from his hand. It was a five. Per the rule, he howled like a wolf. Thrilled, I grabbed the card and put it in my hand, discarding a King.

  “Does this mean I win?” I smiled at him. He gestured towards the King on the table. “Oh,” I said, trying to remember what it meant. Wally made a kissing sound, despite Nicole’s protests. “Oh! Oh!” I exclaimed, getting too excited. “Wally Nikolokakis!”

  “Yes!” he laughed, throwing his head back. Everyone seemed happy for me, and decided to end on my high note. I helped them clear the table, and hovered in the kitchen.

  Most of the guys had disappeared into the living room. All except Paul. He and Mia were standing in the foyer. She was looking up at him, a sweet smile on her face. It was clear that he adored her, and I felt bad for watching their intimate interaction.

  I could have gone to sit with the rest of the girls at the table, but I didn’t really know them, and to be honest, I wasn’t in the mood to try. Maybe another time. Instead, I sought out Wally. He was sitting on the couch playing a video game. When he saw me enter the room, he patted the space next to him.

  For the next hour or so, I watched him play, but he didn’t ignore me. Every once in a while, he’d look over and smile, or if he was really into it, he’d reach over and give my leg a squeeze, as if to say I haven’t forgotten that you’re here. Even though I hadn’t thought I would, I was having fun, and didn’t want to go home.

  But eventually, I had to. The house cleared out and I knew I should leave.

  “Guess, I’m gonna go,” I said.

  “Oh, okay,” Wally said, sounding both surprised and sad.

  He walked me to my car, and I thought that he was going to kiss me. He didn’t. But he wanted to. I knew he did.

  “Let’s do this again,” he said.

  “I’d like that.”

  He smiled, gave me a wave, and walked inside.

  Chapter 10

  It was hard to know if two weeks had gone by or two months. It was a whirlwind. Wally and I spent nearly every free second we had together. And then, if we weren’t together he was texting me, or we were talking on the phone. At least three times he’d taken me to the movies—not any new releases, all old, classic films. Most of them I’d never seen, but Wally was enthusiastic about them. For hours after we’d left he would go on and on about the clean cinematography or the unadulterated acting of the old film stars.

  It was cute. Mostly because it was so unexpected. Any other time he was goofy and maybe even a little shallow, so seeing him speak so passionately about something warmed my heart.

  On a Saturday afternoon, I met him at his friend Lucas’ music store and sat in their back room watching all of them play around on their instruments. The only other person there was Marlowe, but she had her nose buried in a book the entire time and we didn’t speak.

  One day we went for a drive in my car—both of us bored and wanting to get out of the house. He brought his music and made me listen to a mix of everything he had. Reggae. Rap. Techno. Rock. Even a little Pop. Most of it consisted of me groaning and throwing my head back. He’d say, “Wait, wait. Just wait. You’ll like it. I promise.” Sometimes I did¸ but even I had limits and his taste was a little too eclectic.

  If he was home and I wasn’t busy, he’d ask me to come over. Sometimes we just sat outside. Sometimes I ate popcorn while I watched him play video games. The stairs that led to his bedroom loomed in the background. A pathway straight to privacy. But he never went up them if I was there.

  We were doing something. I didn’t know what, but something. Our hands would brush every so often. Our smiles would last a second longer than friendly. He was trying hard to keep from becoming physical with me again. I wasn’t sure why, but I knew he had reasons. Whatever they were, he certainly wasn’t telling me. But I was okay with it, because unknowingly, Wally was slowly pulling me out of my funk. My life wasn’t boring anymore. He filled it with excitement, and even if we never touched each other romantically again, I was happy to have him in my life.

  But that didn’t mean I didn’t want him. Constantly, I thought of kissing him, or tackling him in a fit of passion. After a while, I started pushing his limits, trying to see how much I could get out of him. Even my smallest gestures evoked a reaction. Once, I purposefully sat too close to him on the couch, pushing our bodies together.

  He’d chuckled uncomfortably. “What are you doing to me, Punks?” he’d said under his breath, but didn’t move away.

  The more I pushed, the more he relented. Gradually, he started putting a hand on my leg when we were next to each other, or fiddling with my hair when I was leaned against him.

  I was biding my time, because I knew that eventually he would break. He wouldn’t be able to keep this “friendly” thing going for long. I saw the way he watched me, the way he stared a little too long when I bent over or fluffed out my hair. He still wanted me. And I still wanted him. I’d play this game if he liked, but eventually something would have to give. We were too good together to remain strictly friends.

  I was at work, and trying not to let his string of text messages distract me. Trey was there, not in my office, but out in the hallway talking to Mamie. I couldn’t be sure, because I knew nothing about the legal field, but it felt like he might be prolonging all of this—dragging things out, pushing dates back, always needing another copy of this or a new copy of that.

  I was smiling at my phone, looking at a picture Wally had sent me. He was wearing a new shirt that had a cartoon pin-up of Poison Ivy on it. Ain’t got nothing on you, girl, he said.

  “What’s so funny?” Trey asked, suddenly standing in the doorway.

  “Nothing,” I said, shutting the screen off. “Did you get everything you need?”

  “Probably,” he said. “I gotta go, but I still need your statement of events. Well, a more official statement. Guess, I’ll have to come by later tonight if you want to get this done before the weekend.”

  “No,” I said. “I can’t do that tonight.” I didn’t have any plans, but I wasn’t about to let him come over. “Can you come by Saturday afternoon? I’ll be here for a little while. Or I can meet you somewhere.”

  “Hey,” he shrugged, “you want this to keep going? I don’t care what you do.”

  “It’s just one day,” I said.

  Instead of responding, he grabbed his briefcase and started for the door, turning back at the last second. “By the way, Mom and Julie are coming by later.”

  Julie was Trey’s sister. “Why? Are they looking to adopt?”

  “Couldn’t tell you. She just wanted me to let you know.”

  “Alright,” I said.

  Just before I closed for the day, they both came strolling in, dressed to perfection, makeup and hair, all sparkly jewelry. I always envied their ability to look as if they were about to walk out on a runway.

  “You ready to go?” his sister asked.

  “Go where?”

  “Dress shopping,” his mom said.

  “Why am I going dress shopping?” I asked warily.

  “For the Charity Gala, silly girl.” His mother, Lisa, grabbed my arm and started leading me towards the door. “Hope you’re all finished here. We’re on a bit of a time crunch.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, letting her drag me, “but I don’t know anything about a Gala.”
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br />   “Oh. Well, Trey must have been trying to keep it a surprise,” Julie said. “The whole family will be there.”

  I doubted Wally was included in that. I wasn’t going to the Gala. There was no way. Trey was such a jerk to spring this on me. But Julie and Lisa were nice, to me at least. They seemed excited to go dress shopping, and it was time to close up anyway. I let Sheila finish everything and followed them out to their car.

  “I’ll go with you, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it the Gala,” I said. “I’ve been pretty busy lately.”

  “But you don’t even know when it is,” Lisa said, stepping into her car.

  I went into the backseat and buckled up. “I know, but I’ve just been busy in general. Don’t have much free time.”

  “Is that why we haven’t been seeing much of you,” Julie asked, turning around in her seat.

  “Uh. Well. I guess,” I said. Apparently, Trey hadn’t told them about our breakup and it had been months ago.

  “Who knows?” Lisa said as she pulled out of the parking lot. “Maybe you won’t be busy that weekend. Trey has been so excited to take you. I know it would mean a lot to him. You better not disappoint my baby boy.”

  She managed to sound playful, but I heard the hard edge in her words. They didn’t scare me though. Her “baby boy” was about to be really disappointed.

  Chapter 11

  At the upscale department store, I followed them around, mostly waiting outside the dressing rooms. For a solid hour, they kept throwing dresses at me.

  “What about this one?” Lisa said.

  “I don’t really like the color,” I said. Truthfully, I didn’t give a shit about the color. It was blue or something like it, but I was coming up with every excuse I could.

  “Honestly, you’ll have to pick something. It’s a few weeks away, you know.”

  “No, I didn’t,” I said under my breath.

  While both of them were in dressing rooms, I pulled out my phone and texted Trey.

  What the hell? I said. You just spring this on me?

  After a few minutes, he responded. What? I thought you’d like to go with me. Why wouldn’t you? It’s the fucking event of the season.

  Event of the season? Who talks like that? He was such a douche.

  You should have asked, I said. I don’t want to go. It’s not really my thing.

  You’re fucking loss.

  “It’s ‘your’,” I said aloud, knowing that no one was listening.

  “Well, this won’t do,” Lisa said behind her dressing room door. “Kristen, be a dear and get me a smaller size.”

  “Sure,” I said, and went to retrieve it.

  As I was walking back, my phone chimed again. With a huff, I took it out of my back pocket, but smiled when I saw that it was Wally.

  Meet me somewhere, was all it said.

  My smile broadening, I said, Where?

  Anywhere.

  When I told him where I was, he said Alright, coming to get you. Be there in five.

  Thrill bubbling in my stomach, I knocked on Lisa’s dressing room door.

  She cracked it open to get the dress. “Thank you,” she said.

  “Actually, I’m gonna leave,” I told her. “My friend is coming to get me. Have fun at the Gala.” Before she could say a word, I walked off. When the department store doors were in sight, I did a giddy run and took off towards them.

  I heard his car before I saw it, a rat-a-tat clank as he pulled up to the front. Smiling from ear to ear, I jumped in the passenger seat.

  “You hungry?” he asked, in lieu of hello.

  “Starved.”

  “Let’s eat then.” With a kick and a jump, his car sputtered away.

  He took us to a greasy burger joint, and ordered for me. “You ain’t getting no pansy ass burger,” he said.

  Instead of eating inside, he drove across the street to an empty parking lot. Since his air conditioner could barely be described as working, he rolled down the windows.

  As he opened up his burger, he mumbled something. Or maybe he’d said it clearly. It was hard to tell with his car. It was loud, making it nearly impossible for us to hold any type of conversation.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Haferm umis todum.”

  “Uh…say that again…”

  His eyes went big with annoyance. His mouth was now full of food and with a jerk, he turned off his car. “I SAID, Have you missed me today?”

  “Oh,” I laughed, but dodged the question. Of course, I missed him, but I wasn’t going to feed his ego. What he was really trying to say was that he missed me. “Your car is loud as shit,” I told him instead. “What’s wrong with it?”

  “Hell if I know.”

  “What do you want to do today?” I asked him.

  “Hmmm…” He looked off into the distance, thinking. I watched his profile. Strong nose and jaw. He hadn’t shaved and had the smallest hint of a shadow across his face. I wanted to reach over and rub it with my fingers, to feel the rough hair prickle my skin.

  “I think I have an idea,” he said.

  We couldn’t say much more while we ate. The burgers were big and messy, making it hard to communicate anything other than grunts. After they and the fries were consumed he started his car and drove off.

  I didn’t know where we were going and didn’t ask. It was interesting riding in his car. Trying to talk was basically useless. You were left alone with nothing but your thoughts. Every once in a while I’d look over at him. He’d be focused, off in a daze until he felt my stare. A slow smile would creep up his lips, and, without looking in my direction, he’d wink.

  He pulled into a park I recognized, and I watched his forearm tense as he downshifted. The park had a walking trail and small pond. People usually came to walk their dogs, but the trail was long, stretching out and winding into the woods.

  I remembered when I was a teenager people would come to make out on the deep, private trails. I doubted that’s what he had in mind. Without a word, he stepped out of the car and started walking towards the trail. He was so weird. I had to jog to catch up to him.

  “Thanks for waiting,” I said, sarcastically.

  “You ever been out here?” he asked.

  “Once or twice. It’s been a while though.”

  “I’m gonna show you something,” he said, going towards the back trails.

  Silently, I followed him, weaving and turning around the landscape. For about five minutes, we walked until suddenly, he stopped.

  “See that right there?” he said, pointing off the trail towards the trees.

  I searched, trying to find what he was referring to. “No,” I said, when I came up empty.

  “There,” he said, grabbing my hand and leading me towards a tree.

  I saw it then. Etched into the bark of a big oak, worn and faded, were the initials W.H.N.

  It was obvious that this had been done a long time ago. “Are those your initials?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” he said. “I must have done this when I was 9 or 10 years old.”

  I smiled and reached out to touch the tree. “Really? What’s the H stand for?”

  He gave me a tight lipped smile, and then chuckled with embarrassment. “Herbert,” he finally said.

  “Herbert?” I smiled. “Wally Herbert Nikolokakis. That’s a mouthful.”

  “Yeah,” he said. “When I was younger, I used to come out here all the time. Ran away really. I used to think that I’d come and live here, all on my own, become one with the animals and shit. How dumb is that?”

  “It’s cute actually,” I said.

  “Well, it never lasted more than a few hours. I’d get hungry or cold and go back home.”

  “Why would you run away?”

  “Oh, you know, this and that,” he said, stepping away from the tree and back towards the trail. It didn’t escape me that he dodged my question. Always with the mystery. He turned back to look at me. “I’ve never brought anyone here,” he said.


  “Well, thank you,” I said, walking back to meet him. I hugged him when I approached, wrapping my arms around his waist, and giving him a squeeze. He hugged me back, and I felt the gentle press of his lips at the top of my head. I wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer. This attraction was so much more than physical now, and I was ready to ask him if we could go further. I thought he was ready, too. Why else would be bring me to this place?

  “Wanna get out of here?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” I said into his shirt.

  Holding hands we walked back to his car.

  Chapter 12

  It was getting late, nearly dark. Since it was Friday, I assumed Wally would want to go out or do something exciting. Instead, he asked if he could see my house.

  My heart raced at the prospect. He’d never been there, keeping himself distant from my personal space. If he wanted to go maybe that meant he was ready to admit how he felt about me, and that he wanted more. Hiding my eagerness, I gave him directions as he drove.

  As we approached my front door, he was cool and collected, acting as though he’d been here hundreds of times before. I saw my home through his eyes. Tiny, with a little front porch. Trees overgrown in the front yard and lining the driveway. Inside, my living room and dining room bled into one another, a small row kitchen off to the side. Two bedrooms and a bathroom were down the hall. The best part of my home was by far the backyard.

  It had a big porch and a huge space. Several large trees were scattered throughout the lawn, providing shade and beauty. Ironically, I didn’t have a dog. Or a cat. Several years ago, my childhood dog had passed, and I hadn’t been able to get a new one. I wasn’t ready to replace him.

  But Wally didn’t want to see the backyard. He strolled around my living room, picking up pictures or little decorations as he went.

  “Who’s this?” he asked, holding a picture of my brother and his kids.

  “That’s Malcolm,” I said. “My brother. Those are his kids.”